Yo dont text me then not text me
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
