i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
