You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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