somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
