return my video game
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
