she pinky promised me she was 18
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
