I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
