i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Help. Why am I so naked?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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