You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
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My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
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Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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