4 words: hood of his car
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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