She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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