You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
