There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
