Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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