You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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