The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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