god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
