I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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