you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
