That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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