I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
