How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
