I wanna passion pit in your ass
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
