i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
