So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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