Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just pee around me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
