Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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