Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize