i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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