The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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