You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
