it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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