I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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