am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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