Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
