i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
