I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize