drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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