So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
