U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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