would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
