is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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