the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
