is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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