Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
