Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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