it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
