I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
