Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
