is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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