That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
