I cockslap morals
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
