life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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