Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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