I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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