it was like eating out sand paper
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize