Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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