how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
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Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
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I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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