Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
jump out the window naked night went bad
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
