I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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