I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
