He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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